Oct 27 - RIP DADDY

At the moment, I am currently absorbing the worst news I’ve ever recieved from a vast distance. Today, I found out my father died of a massive heart attack. No warning, just gone. I am in a fog at the moment but I can’t shut off. My head is spinning in a million directions and all I can think is how badly I miss my Daddy. He was the best Dad I could have asked for and more so because he wanted to be my Daddy. He loved me and I loved him. I miss him so much. I don’t know how to deal with this. Never hearing his voice again. He’s just gone. No more christmas’s or special birthday dinners. I’m 22 and my dad is dead. Talk about a major blow to my emotional system. I’ve cried so much and fallen completely apart. The boyfriend has been a great support, and luckily, i recieved the news about thirty seconds after he showed up, so I was able to break instantly, which I would have done, but at least my kids weren’t screaming then. Another point of guilt for me is the fact my dad never met my kids. And now he never will. Oh, i am so crushed. I wish things had been different but there’s no time to change it. What’s done is done is done is done. And he’s gone and i can’t fix what was wrong. Daddy, Daddy Daddy, why did you have to die??????? I MISS YOU!!!!!