Life is a highway

I got a call from Iraq today. My phone rang and after 41 minutes (my longest conversation with anyone in Iraq) I reluctantly hung up the phone because he had to go to bed. It was dark with no stars there, here it's cloudy and just beginning to start the day. I think about the distance. 6703 miles between Vancouver and Iraq. That is a long way from home. That is a long way from here. Jersey is only 2400 or so. Germany 4500 or so... Iraq, Iraq is far. But somehow it doesn't feel so far away.

Emails, Facebook, and the ability to call let us stay more connected than ever before. But it doesn't change the fact that there sits a letter to him, two pages long already, waiting to be sent out tomorrow along with a few other letters to various places. Letters are so important to me. I think there is something special about letters, something emails and all the technology in the world can't replace. And these days, the only people who truly appreciate letters are Soldiers, because they are happy reminders of somewhere else.

So my kids are watching Xmen. They have been on a kick for a few days. Lily requested it a few days ago and while she let me change out the dvd for Charmed last night, she insisted "Umbah" went back in first thing. So the kids are enjoying their show. I think they are finally getting used to the fact that he isn't in their lives anymore. I feel sad for them, because they do love him and they can't possibly understand this decision, one that I didn't make, but I think now, unless they see him, most of the time, they are ok. Sometimes though Lily gets upset and calls for him. Jax, though, he's a strong little man. He just tries to boss everyone around now. The terrible twos are starting and the problem is his size. If he wasn't so big and powerful. Already he's broken a chair of mine when he went into a fit. He's not even two and he already has the strength of a cage fighter. In two weeks, he'll be two. Two years old already. I'm glad they are growing up, but I miss how tiny he was, how sweet, how beautiful... my baby boy.

I am feeling pretty good today. Doing laundry and writing letters with my favorite show on dvd playing. A call from Iraq, texts from good friends and hope. Hope and love. Love and hope. My wrists say it all. For the first time in a long time, when I stare at the words, it's not simply a reminder of my beliefs, it's fact. I am loved, maybe not by someone who can give me the world, and maybe I don't have the perfect dream love but I am terribly loved. By so many people. And they all have hope for me, they all want the best for me. Most would be willing to do anything for me. It took me a long time to realize how amazingly lucky I am to have my friends, to have my Guardian Angels, but today I am happy that they love me and I love them too.