In my diary of Jane

I never realized how quickly someone could make themselves indispensable to me until he started talking to me. The sage advice, the compassionate ear, the encouragement, the knowledge that he is there, day or night, to calm my fears or just to send me a smile. The texts we pass could resemble high school notes, at least 100 daily, not including the hours we've spent on the phone. He has a heart of gold, the mind of a geek, the courage of a Hero and the presence of an Officer. He's an officer and a gentleman, he's an angel to me. I spend most days thinking about him, hoping it's him everytime my phone alerts me to a text, disappointed when it's not, thrilled when it is. Every time I think about him, I wonder if he's thinking about me. In only a little over a month, I hope, he will possibly be here, sitting next to me, holding my hand and spending a few short days in each other's arms before he has to return to the states and then he is to be deployed for a year. I hope he will be safe, of course, whether anything really becomes of us, but I know that I will miss all of this when he leaves, then it will be letters passed between us, emails, quick facebook messages, but nothing real, not really, not until he comes back... But for him, I would really be willing to wait for years, if he's willing to wait for me too, which I believe with all my heart he truly is. He is a real man, a real Hero and has the most amazing ability to calm me down from whatever fear or anxiety I develop. He doesn't mind listening to me rant about anything and laughs when I apologize for it, saying he understands. We share beliefs, so many of our values and morals are each others and so few differences, and none that seem to matter at all. His point of view is always enlightening and he always offers me solutions that seem practical rather than completely difficult. I just can't wait for him to be here because I already feel like I miss him and it is so painful for me to watch everyone else have who they want. I just want to have him here with me, even just for a little while...