A letter he will never see...

Dear Hero,
 you dont know how much I think about you. You don't even know how much it hurts to know you are so far away and that you won't be here for days and days and days. It hurts even more to know that I will say Good-bye to you and watch you fly away from me to go to War, knowing that there's this chance that it will be the only time I will ever see you. You don't know how much you cross my mind or how my heart feels calmer after talking to you, or how you make me dream again, like I haven't in too long. My dreams seems so small, compared to you and what you will face. A year apart, a year where we will write, email, facebook. A year that I will be in a million different places, all to be just one medic in an army of Thousands. One year until I can see you again. But the year doesn't start now, it starts later. It starts after I see you, it starts after you leave here. when you leave here and go back to your post, I know you will be ready to leave so you can come home, so you can be here. I think about that all the time... I think about how much I already miss you and how, I know, in my heart of hearts, that I will miss you then. I don't know what a year will bring, not now... But I do know that one thing will never change and it's the combat-boot impression you've already left inside me. And that no matter how much changes, in the next months, I know that never will. You are so smart, brave, kind, caring, compassionate, wholesome. You are in the Army, just as I will be, and I will miss you while you are gone. We will write to each other. It's the only promise we've made, because in this life, we both know that promises are too easily broken. Last night, you told me you wrote me a letter, said I don't get to know what is in it until it's here. Already I hate how slow the mail works. It will be a week, at least, until I can read your words, in your handwritting, and see what it is you will say. and it makes me impatient. In a month, you will be here and in a month, I will see you, but you will never read this letter. Because it's not where you know to find it. It won't come in the mail or an email, but is instead more for me, more for my heart, to confess all of these things. I know you can't promise me anything, you can't even promise to come home, let alone to me, and I can't promise you anything in return either, except this: I promise you that wherever you are in this world, you will always have one person, one girl or woman or whatever, who thinks about you and misses you, already and probably for the rest of my life. A year is a long time, alot can happen in twelve months. But I know, that whatever happens, whether some miracle allows us to have the rest of our lives with each other, or whether somehow we never see each other after those few days in July, I know I will always count you in my heart, that you will always be a hero to me. I miss you already... Come to me soon, before my  heart misses you too much for me to handle. And come home, my Hero, come home so I don't have to let you go... please, promise me this one thing, to be safe. And remember me, no matter what happens. remember the girl that made you laugh, who talked about the importance of ants with you, (yes, you won that arguement with the fact that anteaters would starve and they are funny to look at), who gave you the most honesty she's ever given anyone in the world. I told you my darkest secrets and you didn't judge me. Everything about you makes me miss you already... Please be here soon, I think my heart is breaking with this distance... And then when you leave me, promise me just one more thing, to be safe, to never let me miss you in a way that can never stop... Please promise me that and I will be ok, no matter what happens between you and I. Promise me that and everything will be ok...
A piece of my heart is already yours...
Leah